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Suffer Through the Motions

by The Idle Kind

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1.
Im dragging my insides through the dirt and snow on the off chance that you follow - you'll know just where to go. Down a dark hall, through a locked door, in between a tiny crack. I will lay there forever and I'm never coming back. That's where you'll always find me, beat down and barely breathing. We thought that this would work out, we just had awful timing. You say you're sorry but it doesn’t show. You're shooting glances And I'm just shedding blows. You're not as sure as you put on, and on the outside you act strong, but deep inside you're thin and weak - a shell of who you used to be. That's where you'll always find me, beat down and barely breathing. We thought that this would work out, we just got sick of trying.
2.
I’d do anything - I would stand outside for hours and I would learn to sing all your favorite songs. And if my lungs collapse, I would build you up a tower so I know that you’d be safe and you could sleep relaxed. Do you think about me? Because I think about you. You’re the setting sun, you’re a lesson learned, and our hearts are shaped to break but this specific case couldn’t get much worse. Give me a reason. Give me a poor excuse. Give me the words you know I deserve because I’ve earned them. Give me a blank stare. Give me your baited breathe. Give me a pause before I dissolve into a hopeless man. I’m hopeless. Give me a reason. Give me a poor excuse. Give me a reason. Give me a poor excuse. Give me the words you know I deserve. Give me a chance to earn. credits
3.
We kept to ourselves and we kept it quiet. Held to the plan til we couldn't hide it. Tried our best to keep it all held down. Now I’m counting seconds and you’re counting stars. You’re breathing heavy and I'm just wondering, “how’d it get this far?” Don't believe a single word I said. Don't believe that this was anything. Don't believe a single word I said, I never wanted it to be this way. I smelled blood in the water, you were gauging the attack. Please stop making this harder because we both know the effects - First there’s fear, then there's shaking, then the sound of your heart breaking. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. Hollow words, they are dejecting - leave us feeling meaningless. There’s nothing left here to regret, nothing to say that we haven’t said. We’ve made our bed, and we lay in it. I’m not saying anything that you want to hear.
4.
Every sign I saw was pointing south, heading straight to hell, and you caught me, you caught me. I was spitting into wishing wells, begging for a sell, and you bought in - you bought me. My faded tongue slipped by the shore, which I have left, and studdered words turn the air to frozen breath. Baby, you’re a little too good for (me). Maybe you don’t know what I’ve got in store. Baby, promise me you’re always gonna roll with the hits, you know I’m never gonna get it right. I promise it will be alright. We lost ourselves back when we really had to choose. We saw the world and all the awful it can do, but that don’t change a thing. The point is that you got me. You’ve got me in a bad way.. You’ve got me in a real bad way, you’ve got a way to keep me crumbling. Tear me open and wear me out; here’s to hoping that you’ll keep me around.
5.
I never said goodbye, never said goodnight. I’ll never wane, never rest ‘til the sunlight. Gonna keep it close, gonna hold it tight - dig it into my chest ‘til it feels right. But it's never gonna feel right as much as I try. I might rely on my instincts that got me here in the first place. You swore it makes you nervous as if it serves a purpose. Between the ceiling and me, you've got some secrets to keep. Your story bends and curves around like cursive. You swore this made you nervous as if it serves a purpose. Are you ready for the let down? Are you ready for the empty sounds of the long nights and the black skies? Of the “always tired’s” and the “not alrights”? I thought it through, and it’s nothing new. It didn’t mean a thing.
6.
Can’t get my head right, lost in the foreground. Every time you look, you’re looking past me. I’ve gained some valuable insight from all of the lost time I’ve lost and that’s alright. Can’t get my head right. Figure I just might come to terms with the fact that you can’t bend for me - a realization as cold as the ice that sheets the streets. I’ll suffer through the motions carefully. An endless sea of cacophony. Am I playing all the good notes plenty? A complex arrangement of what I need. I’ll suffer through the motions carefully. I’ll suffer through the motions. You hold it so high, like you’re the only one to ever get this right, but from where I’ve been standing you look so small and almost fake - your flaws glaringly on display. Again and again, I will crack. You can cut me down until I fit your puzzle. Again and again, I’ll destroy and rebuild it back until my half’s yours. It takes time to make sense. It takes skill to fake sense. It takes time. It takes time to make sense. It takes luck to fix sense.
7.
J.K.W.T.M.U. 01:05
You can figure this one out on your own.
8.
Hold tight, you’re the shifting dirt and I’m the fault line slowly tearing you apart. I’d apologize, but I’m just being me this time. Dead eyes, you’re not used to seeing both sides. You’re not used to keeping in line, always late in assuming I could never be the bad guy. If I could I’d get this right, but right now I’m just too damn tied up in all of your mess. I’m still making the best of what little that you left me. Did you ever think about the consequences? Hide your smoking gun, cause here’s a lesson: You can fake it hard - It’s a subtle act, with a subtle charm and a brilliant tact. Just keep it secret and pretend you mean it. Hide out like you’re on the run. Sell it. Brave the dauntless storm and remember that when you’re all alone it won’t get much better.
9.
A hard fought explanation has got you contemplating, “Was it worth the days, the months and years you threw away?” The constants last forever.. they might just not get better. You're on a one track mind- at least you knew to say goodbye. Now you're somewhere in between the Delaware and me, a better place to be. I'm stuck here waiting on the line. I’ve been forced to play this hand one too many times. I'm losing focus and I'm losing sleep ‘cause I've been up all night burying secrets I shouldn't keep. Now you're somewhere in between a set of cleaner sheets with a stronger pulsing heart, syncing to it’s beat.
10.

credits

released April 12, 2017

Written and performed by The Idle Kind
Recorded by Forrest Culotta at Stinson Studios
Edited, mixed, mastered, and produced by Forrect Culotta
Assistant Engineering by Virginia Haladyna and Dylan Bures
Vocal performances from Miles McMillan Jr. and Forrest Culotta

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